Mississippi/Alabama

Let me say that this is a total generalization of the south and the people that live there. Also we lived in small towns. The big cities don't have all of these same qualities. Please don't take offense by the things I have said about The South.

P.S. Except for the food, the pictures are from my camera.(In order to get the full effect of these pictures you should click to enlarge most of them.)

Here is a list of things that I
1. Never saw/heard before I lived in a small town in the south.
2. Never thought I would see/say.
3. Never thought I would miss.

1. The Woods. Basically the woods is trees and grass it's kind of like the forest. If you call it the forest people from the south might not know what you are talking about. There are woods all along the side of the road. You cannot see off into the distance because there are too many trees in the way. When we lived in Mississippi we had woods at the end of our back fence. You should never go into the woods alone.

Here is a picture through our dirty windshield, I'm sure we were driving along and I thought to myself look at these trees. I should take a picture.

Here is a picture of what is hopefully an abandoned trailer, in the woods.

2. Southern Food. I'm talking about stuff your grandma made, if you grew up in the south.
This is fried okra. It is delicious. Apparently you can sneak it into the movies and eat it like popcorn.

These are fried green tomatoes, also delicious.
The list really does go on and on. Macaroni and cheese, barbecue pulled pork, homemade rolls, cornbread, deep fried ribs (I'm not kidding). There was this place in Mississippi that had deep fried french fries. You're probably thinking aren't all french fries deep fried? These babies were fried, breaded and then fried again. Don't even get me started about the desserts. Banana pudding, red velvet cake, coconut cake. Sure you may have heard of it before, or maybe even tasted southern food before, but it taste so much better when you are in the south.

3. Tote. You can also say Toting. People in the south like to use the word tote. Before I moved to the south it was only used to describe a kind of bag(you know, tote bag). For those from the south it was a verb.
Here is a picture of Joe toting River around during para sailing practice (notice the woods in the background).
Another example would be if Ezra filled his backpack full of stuff and then carried it around the whole playground. Someone would say, "Look at him trying to tote his toys around."

4. Ya'll. As in, How ya'll doing today? No matter if you were by yourself or with a group of people.
This is seriously a picture I took in Alabama. It was a shop just outside of the Daleville gate.
Here is a picture of Ezra with his kindergarten class on the last day of school in Mississippi. Can you believe that ya'll worked it's way into his vocabulary after going to school in Mississippi? (He is the second to last on the right in the yellow visor.)
It was too funny, we were playing a game and Ezra won. His words, "I just beat all ya'll."
My next favorite ya'll story is when a man who was helping me change my flat tire in the Wal-Mart parking lot asked me, "Ya'll from up north?" I wanted to say, "Yes sir, we are yankees." but I didn't.

5. Arrow letter boards. Oh sure you've seen them before, but when you live in a small town in the south, they are everywhere. Salons, vets, tire shops, tattoo and body piercing shops all kinds of business can use them.
I'm pretty sad that I don't have a real picture of these signs.

The back road leading to the base in Mississippi had at least 14 of these signs. I always knew that the adult store was having a great sale on dvds. Sure some of the signs were blank, most of them were missing letters, but at least you knew there was once a business in the now abandoned trailer.

6.Roadkill. (Sorry no picture here) Growing up in the city it's an occasional dog or cat sometimes a pigeon. I still remember driving to Mississippi we were halfway through Louisiana there was something on the side of the road. Joe and I looked at each other. What was that? I think it was an armadillo, do they have armadillo in other places besides Texas? The answer is yes, and if you see an armadillo it is dead on the side of the road. There are no live armadillo. It's not just dead armadillo, there are possums, raccoons, squirrels, skunks, even giant dead deer on the side of the road.

7. Spiders. Before I lived in the south the most disgusting spider that I had ever seen was a wolf spider. One of the first briefings Joe had in Mississippi was don't put a bedskirt on your bed because spiders like to live in them and then they will bite you when you are sleeping and then you will die. The spiders in the south are for reals. Of course you get the little baby ones, that crawl out of the pile of laundry you have been needing to fold for three days, but there is also the "pudding" spiders (thanks, Kelsey) pudding because after you smash them, pudding. Pretty gross. If want to wear a shirt that has been on your bedroom floor for a day or more, shake it out before you put it on. You should also check your church shoes for spiders before you put them on.
Here is a picture from our neighbors backyard in Alabama.
I think it is a banana spider is was as big as a mans hand. Our neighbors liked it and named it Lola. Of course they were from the south, I would have freaked out and called some one to come and kill it before it took over my house.

Other things I did not mention:
*Humidity.
*Calling your kids "babies" no matter their age.
*Making your kids answer your questions, with a yes Ma'am, or a no Ma'am.(Ezra also started doing this after attending school in Mississippi. I kind of like it.)
*Bare-bottom spanking your kids in public is totally fine.
*Come aparts.
*Southern hospitality.
*Sweet Tea -which I never actually tried, but I heard is the best iced tea you will ever have and only people in the south know how to make it the right way.
*Not understanding accents so thick that after you have said "excuse me" or "what?" three times, you just look at them and say "I don't know what you are saying" or just you say "yes" to them because you feel like a jerk for not understanding what they are saying.
*Celebrating Robert E. Lee's birthday.
*A gas station/bait shop/dry cleaners. (I'm serious)
*The slowest fast food service ever.
*The word fixin' as in "I'm fixin' to go the the store."
*Bulk garbage on the side of the road, things like couches and tvs.
*Package shops. Package shops are not like mailboxes etc.. A package shop is another name for a liquor store.
*Poison Ivy, it really does exist. (Remember the woods?)
*Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
*Making trips into town.
*College football is a big deal, Roll Tide! Know your colors, crimson and orange do not mix.

P.S. Here is a picture of Ezra and River just outside of our apartment in Albuquerque. We are no longer in the south.